Heroes of motherhood: Experiences of raising special needs children

Nigeria – Jasour – News Desk

The odyssey of a mother raising a child with special needs in a resource-restricted country like Nigeria is one marked by resilience and strength. It’s a journey filled with sacrifices and moments of profound isolation. In this report, Weekend Trust recounts experiences of mothers with special needs children. “As an 18-year-old, raising a child with special needs felt like the world was against me,” said Fatima Abdullahi, an Abuja-based mother who  faced a life of uncertainty and fear with little or no knowledge of what disability in a child was and how to tackle the condition.

Though she recounted a seamless pregnancy and birth experience, Fatima said she noticed some unusual changes in her toddler but hoped it was nothing to be bothered about. Divorced before her son turned three, Fatima said her ex-husband insisted that the son stayed with his mother, “my mother-in-law”, even against her wish. She added that after a while, her mother-in-law called her to come pick the boy because his condition was deteriorating. According to Fatima, her mother-in-law had said the boy’s stepmother was calling him an animal, treating him differently from the rest of the children in the house.

“After I picked my son, a friend advised me to take him to the hospital and have him checked, so I called my ex-husband and asked him to come along, but he said he had better things to do with his time. According to him, he had other kids to take care of, so he would not waste his resources on one child.” Fatima is one among Nigerian women who are silent heroes in their journey of motherhood, defying societal stigma and stereotypes of having children with special needs. Fuelled by love and a determination to bring out the best in these ‘special’ children, they stop at nothing to get the best for them.

According to the World Health Organisation (WHO) children with special needs are those who have long-term physical, mental, intellectual or sensory impairments. These impairments, in interaction with various barriers, may hinder their full and effective participation in society on an equal basis with others. Fatima said on getting to the hospital, the doctors confirmed her son had low intelligence quotient better known as Low IQ (a number representing a person’s reasoning ability).

According to Juliet Gyang, a special needs consultant in Abuja, Low IQ refers to below-average intellectual functioning, typically indicated by an IQ score below 70, which may affect a person’s ability to reason, solve-problems, and adapt to everyday tasks. “It is a general measure of cognitive ability,” she said. Fatima narrated further that the doctors advised her to enrol the boy in a special school where he would get attention from experts. The believe that mothers are the only ones who struggle raising children, especially those with special needs